Frank McCabe

Why Everyone Should Be Using Uber (A Guide to the Millennial Taxi Service)

(Written by @elburkee978 who knows all about technology but can’t friggin post her own blogs!)

First I want to start with a quick definition of the word “Millenial”. It’s a noun, it’s an adverb, its a lifestyle. It’s basically every Snapchat-ing Face-timing social media obsessing person between the ages of 15-35. It’s the era of everything in the “cloud”. The internet always existed (for the most part; being on the cusp of this generation I most certainly remember Dewey Decimal and Encyclopedia Britannica, but also always had computer class playing Oregon Trail on a black and green computer screen), and there’s an app for everything from cheating on Scrabble to tracking your ex boyfriends current location. So it was only a matter of time when the world’s safest taxi service was created.
Here are the Top 10 Reasons why I’ve become uber obsessed with Uber:
1. The town I live in doesn’t have a cab service. If you want a cab, it costs an insane amount of money. Even when using Uber in the city, I can’t believe how much less it is to get places. Taking a cab from Fenway Park to North Station is a $13 cab ride, plus a tip. Uber is around $8, with the tip included. That’s a beer and Fenway Frank in savings!

2. There’s pretty much always an Uber driver available. The longest I’ve ever had to wait for a ride was 15 minutes, which wasn’t even bad. At any given time, there’ll be at least 5 drivers 10 minutes or less away from where I need to be picked up.

3. When your Uber driver is on their way, you get their name, a photo of the driver, the license plate number, and make and model of the car. Each driver is screened before allowed to drive, so you KNOW you won’t get a sketchball pulling up. That’s not to say I haven’t had some… eccentric drivers. (No joke, one guy was actually telling my friend and me about a comic book he was working on that had Katy Perry coming back from the dead as a grandmother.. or something)

4. The cars are so clean! I hate climbing into cabs and not wanting to touch anything because it has a film of dirt all over the interior. Each Uber driver has to maintain their car to a certain standard, and I’ve never been in a car with even a random piece of paper on the floor. The cars are pretty nice too- I’ve had Dodge Chargers, brand new Nissans…. sure beats a Crown Vic from ’95 with no AC.

5. Each driver follows the Uber GPS, which you can visibly see from the back seat. Which means you’re not getting the cab driver taking you through the scenic view of the city to rack up their fare.

6. Uber is linked up automatically to your credit or debit card. Which means there’s no money exchange during the ride. It’s always creepy when the cab driver stares at you while you take all your crumpled ones out of your pocket, or trying to drunkenly figure out the whole money thing with friends.

7. My parents always tell me how proud they are that I don’t drink and drive. The sentence after that is usually them telling me to stop leaving my car in random parking lots and to clean my act up. With uber- I can leave my car at home. I mean honestly, how many times can you have your car towed from the same parking lot in the morning. (woops?)

8. One of my personal reasons I love Uber, it has reduced my walk of shames. Oh, your ex is at the bar and wants to give you a ride home? Sorry pal! I have Uber on my side. I’ll ride home with Harvey in his Chevy Malibu tonight, and wake up happily in my own bed after a peaceful night’s sleep without any snoring or stealing of my blankets. (This reason why Uber is the greatest may not apply to all users)

9. You rate your driver after you get dropped off- this helps you see which drivers are better, and if you’re going to get the Katy Perry comic book dude or someone who actually focuses on the road.

10. And drumroll please….. the best reason to use Uber is because for everyone you get to sign up, both you and they will get a free ride of up to $20- which is like a 10 mile ride. HOLLER.

So sign up HERE https://www.uber.com/invite/leahb311 , get your free ride, and see what all these Millennials keep talking about. As cell phones have replaced the gross gas-station pay pones, I see Uber as the new taxi cab of the future.

(Authors Note: this is NOT a customer review or advertisement for Uber. I’m just a gal who spent an entire week on vacation relying on the service, and am totally happy with my experience.)

Frank McCabe, Uncategorized

TOUCHDOWN! Proud of these boys!

Noah: Matt you did great!

Matt: Of course I did!

Well, my nephews are official celebrities! After an awe-inspiring display of sportsmanship and kindness by the Westford, MA an Dracut, MA Pop Warner programs my nephew, Matthew was given the incredible opportunity to score the first touchdown of the 2015 season this past Sunday. Matthew is bound to a wheelchair due to his diagnosis of Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). He was not expected to live beyond the age of 2. Well, Matthew, now 6, is fighting the good fight everyday as we hopefully get closer to a cure that would allow him a longer, healthier life.

I decided to video this incredible event and with the reach of social media, it spread like wild fire.

You will see Matthew’s brother Noah (#15, who is on the team) hand the football off too him and the rest was history!

As of today, close to 300,000 views and nearly every local (and a few national) media outlets picked up this story.

In a time when all we hear of is kids bullying eachother and outrageous acts of violence and hatred, this should make everyone proud that goodness is still around us.

I gathered all the growing news coverage in this one spot for your viewing pleasure. Prepare for the goosebumps and the dusty eyes….

Without further ado…

Original Video in Full

WHDH – Boston, Channel 7

http://www.whdh.com/story/30021106/wheelchair-bound-football-player-scores-touchdown-for-team

WCVB – Boston, Channel 5

http://www.wcvb.com/news/kids-display-of-sportsmanship-goes-viral/35277950?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=wcvb

ESPN

http://espn.go.com/espn/now?nowId=1-13662035

Fox Sports

http://www.foxsports.com/buzzer/video?vid=525478979519

Fox 25 – Boston

http://www.myfoxboston.com/clip/11843678/westford-pop-warner-helps-matthew-davidopoulos-score-a-touchdown

Bleacher Report

http://www.hlntv.com/video/2015/09/15/ma-boy-wheelchair-scores-touchdown

WSFB – Connecticut

http://www.wfsb.com/story/30031270/ma-6-year-old-boy-in-wheelchair-scores-touchdown

Can I Be Frank, Frank McCabe

Unacceptable Be-shave-ior: I Had an Affair

I had an affair this summer.

It was a cheap, foolish tawdry affair that meant nothing to me.

I betray a more than 20 year relationship for a pointless fling and I can only hope to repair the damage it has caused.

This is my confession.

I joined the Dollar Shave Club in July betraying my longtime companion, Gillette, and I regret it every day.

(No, this is not me, but does kinda look. Damn, that Google machine can find anything)

After months of being teased and flirted with, I finally succumbed to the temptation that DSC continually threw in my face. The sexy marketing. The creative advertising. The fun packaging. The social media onslaught. And, of course, the too-good-to-be-true price. It was intoxicating.

No longer would I feel the sting of expensive shaving products being held over me by the blade behemoth, Gillette. No longer would I lie awake at night and wonder if there was something better out there for me? I couldn’t take it anymore. And just like that…I conceded to my emotions. A few drinks, a few clicks later, I was a Dollar Shave Club member.

At first it felt refreshing, new, exhilarating. When would my first shipment arrive? Would they include some of that sensuous shave butter I had viewed in the promos? Would this experience live up to all of my expectations?

And then it happened.

My first packaged arrived. I remember it was a Saturday. My family was all around so I decided to open it in secret. My wife had just bought me a fresh package of my “old faithful” brand and I can’t imagine the sadness she would have felt if I chose to tell her about this new partner.

I closed myself off to the world and did it for the first time. I shaved with this stranger of a blade.

Initially, it felt good, different. A sensation I had never experienced before. My heart was racing….partially from excitement…partially from guilt and fear of being caught. But I did it anyway….and continued to do it several more times.

Quickly I discovered this error in judgment was just not worth it. This relationship had no future. This product was inferior and quickly I simply felt cheap and abused (no, literally ‘abused’, these blades suck). This reckless experiment proved futile.

I could not even look myself in the mirror any longer but I just had to (again, literally, I had to look or my sideburns would have been uneven, I would have missed that weird neck patch, etc.). I have cheated that man in the glass.

With a clear and full heart, I decided I needed to end this; and end it right away. I immediately dispensed of the evidence in hand and went straight to the source. I knew the best way to cut off something like this is to just do it quick and without emotion. Within a few minutes and some confusing tears, it was over. My membership was cancelled and I could try to rebuild my life with my faithful companion.

But I needed to bare my soul and tell my dear Gillette Fusion what I had done. So, I wrote this letter in hopes that he (or is it a she? Hmm…never thought about that?) would take me back….

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My Dearest G-F,

I am writing to apologize. I am writing to say I am sorry. I am writing to confess. I am writing because I don’t think I can take you out of the package without completely falling apart. I made a mistake. A big one. After nearly a 25 year partnership, I have strayed. Over the past several weeks I have been carrying on with another razor. I guess I just got bored and bought in to the old ‘blade is always sharper on the other side’ mentality. I was completely wrong. It only took a few – meaningless, I promise you – shaves and I knew I had made a terrible choice.

I can’t go back in time and change things, but only offer you this heartfelt apology and ask for your forgiveness. The pain I feel cuts like a knife (or rather a shoddily-built cheapo shaving kit) and I want it to end. I miss your silky smooth touch. I miss your dependability. I miss you.

What was I thinking that I could actually do better? I mean, you have an NFL stadium named after you. (A now exonerated!) Tom Brady plays under your watch! What a fool I have been!

All I can say is I am truly sorry and I hope we can make amends?

Sincerely,

Frank’s face

P.S. Don’t forget about No Shave November when we part company for the month. I don’t want to send mix signals again. XOXO

Can I Be Frank, Frank McCabe

The Lifecycle of ‘Back to School’

(Yes, another repost from back in 2013 but my blog team sucks and, frankly, so do I. Either way, its that time of year so here ya go, suckers. Dedicated to all my teacher folk -{pouring out to my homies})

No matter your color, creed, political affiliation or ethnicity when you hear the phrase “back to school” it elicits an emotion. From the time we can comprehend the concept until we are in our golden years those three words mean something to just about everyone; especially students, teachers and parents. But even for those beyond the educational starting-line that is “back to school”, the expression conjures up some feeling be it past, present or future. Every one of us has had to manage the passage of returning to school for some portion of our lives and later, many need to manage this annual happening with our offspring.

With the beginnings of another school year upon us again I began to think about the feelings that are mustered up when we hear those three little words And so, here is my review of the emotional roller coaster we each ride over the course of our lifetime when we hear that timeless expression.

Age 7: Wonder & Excitement

First grade baby! Are you kidding me? What on earth is better than 1st grade? You have already survived the politics and mind games that you surely confronted in kindergarten. Now it’s time to party. No more naps. No more half days. You have your own little friend posse and you are ready to take it out for a spin. First grade may be the last grade you enter with no real expectations or demands put upon you. Show up, shut up and smile…you’ll get straight ‘As’. Fact.

Age 11: Confusion & Uncertainty

Well, you have now dominated elementary school. You have been to the top of the mountain. King or Queen of that K-5 hill and now it’s time for the next chapter. But, not so fast my friend. It’s not that simple. Not only are you entering into those years with perhaps the largest age bracket of punks, sneaks and (future) criminals, you are in an all-out war with your hormones. For the fellas, they are noticing they are growing hair on more than their heads. What is this? Not to mention your voice sounds like you are the next of kin of Michael J. Fox and Peter Brady. Oh and let’s not forget about your, ah hem, newfound acquaintance with your…never mind. As for the young ladies, you are meeting two new close “friends” and not sure how you should manage their inauguration. That’s all I really know about girls (back then and now). As for the academics? Spanish? Algebra? More than ONE teacher to deal with? How do I get out of this one? Junior High sucks…on most levels.

Age 14: Fear & Loathing

Congratulations! You have managed the daily minefield that was Junior High School but now it’s time to take off the training wheels. It’s a brave new world. While you almost have your newfound adult form in check, you are now the littlest of tadpoles in the big pond. For the young men, you are getting pounded by the upper classmen; on the field, in the gym, in the hallways, in the parking lot. NO escape. Your only saving grace is there are REAL women here for you to gawk at! Yeowza! No more wearing sweatpants to school. I’ll leave it at that. And for you poor freshmen girls…that is how you are viewed by your elders; ‘girls’. Prepare yourself to be mocked ad nauseum by every single older female you come across. They will judge your clothes, your hair, your shoes, your friends…everything. Even if you are a squeaky clean all-American girl, you will be mocked and probably be rumored to have made out with the janitor, Carl, before Columbus Day. For you early developing 9th grade ladies, I always hated you. Why? Because you were not wasting your time with a silly co-ed freshmen boy like me when the senior captain of the basketball team named ‘Scooter’ has just asked you to the prom during orientation.

Age 18: Hip Hip HOORAY!!!

You made it! Graduated high school. You can vote. In some places you can drink! You have big dreams and ambitions. The world is your oyster. Oh, here is the really good part for the lucky ones; COLLEGE baby! On your own. No more parents and curfews. New friends to meet. Ridiculous theme parties. Fraternities. Tailgates. Awesomeness aplenty. Going ‘back to school’ for the 18 year old is the apex of life…so far. Breath in that higher educational air, start an ultimate Frisbee game, and chug that beer!

Age 21: Depressed & Scared

Where the hell did college go? What do you mean it’s over? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? What do you mean I am not going ‘back to school’? I need to pay my own bills? What in God’s name is going on? Even for you brainy slicksters that continue on to law, med or grad school, the joke is on you. The school work is harder, the party has ended and, likely, so has your parents’ generosity. For the rest of you, grab a helmet and welcome to the real world. It stinks.

Age 30: Jealousy and Bitterness

You are likely at some mid-level job you hate. You may have gotten married. You may even have a kid or 2 of your own. Life has become just too real to fathom. When you see all those ads for ‘back to school’, you muster up intense feelings of envy and sadness. You can finally appreciate just how awesome school really was compared to the ‘real world’. You contemplate if there is any possible human way to turn back the clock? There isn’t. Put your head down…you are in for a long haul.

Age 40: Hopefulness and Joy

By 40, you probably have a few kiddos of your own running around the school hallways. You have channeled your previous anger and jealousy for the college years into positive feelings of hope and excitement for your children. For many of us, ‘back to school’ is once again awesome…but for totally different reasons. Those summer-time-dependents of yours are, once again, someone else’s problem for six hours a day for the next 10 months. Break out the bubbly!

Age 50: Oh Crap

By 50, you have two overpowering emotions that you have no idea how you will control and manage when ‘back to school’ is mentioned. Number 1, my ‘baby’ is leaving for college and 2, how on God’s green earth am I going to pay for it? In a related story, you are middle aged and gross. BOO!

Age 60: Oh well

The kids are grown up, moved on and no longer your problem; financial or otherwise. ‘Back to school’? Who cares? We are headed for Boca come October anyway.

Age 80: Who’s going back to school?

No really? I can’t hear very well.

In the immortal words of Billy Madison…

“Oh, Back to school, back to school

To prove to Dad I’m not a fool

I’ve got my lunch packed up, my boots tighed tight

I hope I don’t get in a fight

Oh, Back to school, back to school…”

Can I Be Frank

THIS WEEK’S NEWS: VOTE FOR DEEZ NUTS! No really…

What a week in the news it has been! After what seems to be an endless stream of media discussing only Deflategate (BTW – I hate this whole ‘gate’ thing. There was ONE gate in this country’s history – Watergate! That’s it! End of story!) the world has been exposed to, at the very least, some interesting and bizarre news this week.

Jared from Subway sandwich-endorsing fame appears to be going away for a while for not only child pornography but also for having sex with underage prostitutes. (Insert your ‘footlong’ joke here. Haha, “insert”.) They say addicts often substitute one addiction for another – maybe booze or cigarettes would have been a better replacement for food instead of 16 year old hookers, Fatso.

Ashley Madison, that oh-so-naughty website encouraging married folks to have an affair, has been hacked and leaking hundreds/millions of names of all you little cheaters! As my man @therealdantobin commented, the list consists of mostly dentists and kids soccer coaches (DISCLAIMER: Dan has no basis or proof of that statement, but I chuckled)

Addiyi, the female version of the drug Viagra, was officially approved and released this week. In my day they just called it Spanish Fly or, ya know, ROOFIES! But hey, tomato tomaaato. Enjoy the Lady boners!

BUT, my favorite story of the week hit the newswire last night when a 15 year old Iowa farm boy launched his 2016 Presidential campaign under the nomer “DEEZ NUTS”.

And guess what? His numbers are pretty solid!

Go get ’em Mr. Nuts…you have my vote, sir.

As usual, the New England Patriots were way ahead of the rest of ‘Murica especially the World’s Most Interesting Man, Rob Gronkowski

I guess it really does all come back to Deflate-GATE. Shit.

Can I Be Frank, Frank McCabe

Every 90s suburban white boys’ dream has arrived: Straight Outta Compton

Can I Be Frank?: Guilty Pleasures: Gangsta Rap

If you were a teenage boy in the late 80s and early 90s, you knew one thing better than your name; Gangsta rap!

While there were many ‘followers’ at the time, the true pioneers of this brand of angry hip hop was NWA; which of course stood for ‘N&$%^@ With Attitude’.

And in less than 3 weeks, the movie based on their story, Straight Outta Compton, comes out.

Anyway, a few years back I waxed poetic (not killing cops and raping women gangsta poetic but) about my affinity for this music. Timely repost.

I can’t wait. I only hope it lives up to the Chris Rock parody CB4 made 20 years ago…

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Can I Be Frank?: Guilty Pleasures: Gangsta Rap

(Originally Posted December 2012)

Allow me to introduce you to a few of my friends. Say hello to Dr. Dre, Ice Cube, MC Ren, Eazy E, Chuck D. Oh, and don’t let me forget all of the Ghetto Boys. OK, these guys are not my friends.

They represent some primary figures in the music genre known as ‘gangsta rap’. Most of these distinguished gentlemen made their way to fame in the late 80s and early 90s; the height of the gangsta rap craze. Those were some formative years for me as well; essentially my high school years. During this time these cursing crooners made a great impact on my life which resulted in a never ending affinity for their expletive-laced anti-love songs.

I would contend I am not alone.

I can at least speak for my circle of friends – which, by the way, primarily consists of chalky white men. We were all hooked on this violence-creating, women objecting, gun-promoting, drug-use-endorsing and downright filthy phenomenon. We bought the “records”. We watched the videos. And, worst of all, sang the songs. Start laughing ‘cause I am. There is nothing more pathetic or comical than a car full of pubescent, dorky, suburban white boys singing every word to ‘Straight Outta Compton’ (NOTE: F-Word used 21 times in this song alone!) as they cruise to the mall in their Mom’s Buick station wagon.

Oh we were just so dangerous.

If you have never had the listening pleasure of hearing some old school gangsta rap, let me give you a quick glimpse how it came to be. During that era, hip hop and standard rap music was just not good enough. In essence, a group of inner city California kids decided to take this music to a new level. The lyrics raved about the idea of killing police officers, defiling women, getting lost in drugs and basically unleashing total havoc on society. Frankly, they were geniuses for doing so. While the music was offensive to say the very least, they knew they had a market; 16 year old middle-class white boys who had never been near a gun, a drug, a jail cell, Compton, California or, in my case, a woman.

But this is not a lesson on the history of gangsta rap and its place in music history. As I combed through my You Tube playlist the other day I realized that many of these cult classics are occupying my ‘Favorites’ file (along with my Manilow, of course!). Apparently, these twisted tunes found their way deep into my subconscious because twenty years have passed and I can still bang out every single disgusting lyric to these mutha’ fuc….oops…sorry….lost in the moment.

Just a few of the classic cop-clubbing, pimp-slapping, arrest-warranting hits consuming my compilation…

Gangsta Gangsta

Boys in the Hood

Gangsta’s Paradise

Mind Playing Tricks on Me

Gangsta of Love (no, not the dorky Steve Miller version…but that would be more fitting)

F#&% tha Police

How I Could Just Kill a Man

Nuttin’ but a G Thang

So now for the quiz?

What is more pathetic and comical than a car full of pubescent, dorky, suburban white boys singing gangsta rap?

Yes, you in the back?

Um, Nothing?

Correct! Give our winner an autographed copy of MC Ren’s Kizz My Black Azz album (Yes, its a real record. That’s the actual title. And I owned a one).

The answer is a 38 year old white male, suburbanite, father of three belting out these bad boys while sitting at his desk in his V-neck Old Navy sweater and wrinkle-free Dockers. The truth is that the ONLY white men over the age of 35 that have ever looked cool rapping are The Beastie Boys (R.I.P. Adam “MCA” Yauch) and it should stay that way.

Funny as it may be, it remains a guilty pleasure and a fact. I have still never been near a gun, a jail cell, or a (serious ;)) drug. And the only woman around me now would justifiably punch me in the face if I ever even uttered any of this perverse pungent prose from my gangsta rap brothers.

I promise to continue to keep it real for my homies from hood….just in private from now on.