THIS WEEK’S NEWS: VOTE FOR DEEZ NUTS! No really…

What a week in the news it has been!  After what seems to be an endless stream of media discussing only Deflategate (BTW – I hate this whole ‘gate’ thing.  There was ONE gate in this country’s history – Watergate!  That’s it!  End of story!) the world has been exposed to, at the very least, some interesting and bizarre news this week.

  • Jared from Subway sandwich-endorsing fame appears to be going away for a while for not only child pornography but also for having sex with underage prostitutes.  (Insert your ‘footlong’ joke here.  Haha, “insert”.)  They say addicts often substitute one addiction for another – maybe booze or cigarettes would have been a better replacement for food instead of 16 year old hookers, Fatso.
  • Ashley Madison, that oh-so-naughty website encouraging married folks to have an affair, has been hacked and leaking hundreds/millions of names of all you little cheaters!  As my man @therealdantobin commented, the list consists of mostly dentists and kids soccer coaches (DISCLAIMER: Dan has no basis or proof of that statement, but I chuckled)
  • Addiyi, the female version of the drug Viagra, was officially approved and released this week.  In my day they just called it Spanish Fly or, ya know, ROOFIES!  But hey, tomato tomaaato.  Enjoy the Lady boners!
  • BUT, my favorite story of the week hit the newswire last night when a 15 year old Iowa farm boy launched his 2016 Presidential campaign under the nomer “DEEZ NUTS”.

And guess what?  His numbers are pretty solid!

deez nuts

Go get ’em Mr. Nuts…you have my vote, sir.

As usual, the New England Patriots were way ahead of the rest of ‘Murica especially the World’s Most Interesting Man, Rob Gronkowski

I guess it really does all come back to Deflate-GATE.  Shit.

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This entry was posted in Can I Be Frank and tagged , on by .

About Frank McCabe

Frank McCabe is an avid relaxer and Chinese food (i.e. Mai Tai) connoisseur. When he is not tending to his 'real' job, his wife and three children, Frank escapes reality by writing and inventing anything "funny" that pops in his head. With a Bachelors degree in Silliness, Frank subscribes to the theory that life is short...and, well, that kinda sucks, doesn't it? In his downtime Frank enjoys skinny skiing and going to bullfights on acid. @fhmccabe

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