Why am I so pissed off this week?

Not sure what has a hold of me this week, but I am just angry.  Could be the pollen count is like 9 million (I dont even know if thats possible so piss off…I am not Harvey Fucking Leonard!  See what I mean?).  Could be that our entire region’s “boyfriend” Touchdown Tommy is being unfairly punished and criticized.  Could be I just hate everyone.  Yes, you too.

Whatever the case I decided the most therapeutic way – except for exercise, alcohol {I am lying, thats always part of my regiment}, yoga or talk therapy –  to deal with this unforeseen steam is to expunge the demons with this blog.  Identify each and everything that annoyed the shit out of me in recent days and let it out, drop the blood pressure to acceptably high range and allow me to move on living a life of religious and spiritual harmony.

Namaste.

Nope – that shit is stupid and I still dont’ feel any better….on to the Airing of Grievances

While I can not pinpoint one major thing….I have a list of several little ones for sure

Ted Wells.  Your 243 page report on Deflategate is flawed and biased, jack wagon.  Your mustache looks like the work of a 3 year old child with a Sharpie.  You, sir, suck.  Here is a quick  excerpt from the 1 Page McCabe Report: Fuck you.

 

• The Match.com guy.  “Excuse me, Mr Level 3 Sex Offender, do I know you?   You are creeping out Manhattan, chief.  Can you back the hell off and give me some personal space?  If I ever decided to use a dating site/rape invitation service, you just gave me the final reason why I won’t.  Get back to the bushes with your binoculars, dbag.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

• This guy.  This is Matt.  Matt is my brother-in-law.  In truth, he is (or was) one of the all-time greats as far as BILs are considered… UNTIL recently.  Matt was always 1st in line for a good time and excessive indulgance – food, booze, TV watching, laziness, whatever – and the ultimate fat Dad wingman for yours truly.  However, in recent weeks Matt turned his back on me and our whole way of life.  Matt started dieting, exercising, drinking less (sorta).  But this week Matt crossed the line.  He went to one of the premiere steak houses in the country and ordered….wait for it…..sea bass.  Effing Sea Bass!  Right?  Enough said.  Go to Vegan hell Matt.  I hate you.

• Passwords.  Why does every Goddamn thing is this cyber-secure earth require a password!?  I could not remember one this week and I absolutely blew a gasket.  Screaming at an inanimate object like it was going to answer me.  Is it my kids birthdays? Is it our dead fish’s name?  Is it ‘Nipple’?  Nope.  Never got it figured out and I am still off the reservation about it.

 

• My Son.  What?  Why?  Who?  How could you possibly?  Outrage!  Yeah, well Jr turns 12 this week and without getting graphic, I actually think he has surpassed me in the ‘manhood’ department if you know what I mean?  We were ‘crossing the streams’ the other morning and well….too painful to continue.  (not so) Little bastard.

 

Boston Sports.  Nothing but bad news around these parts right now.  Besides TB12 getting emasculated by the media; the Sox suck, the Celts and Bruins are on the golf course during playoff season.  Nothing to watch this week.  I actaully tuned in to the freakin NY Ranger game last night.  Lord, forgive me.

I am sure there is a whole bunch of other things the world did to me to bring out the Flabby Hulk but I think this little rant has done the trick to quell my rage.  Well, no not really.  Still kinda want to kick some stuff.