Buddy…Bro….Guy…Man…. Not anymore Dude!

Former Olympic champion Bruce Jenner says that “for all intents and purposes, I am a woman.”

Jenner spoke in a long-awaited interview televised Friday with ABC’s Diane Sawyer about his gender identity, saying he has always been confused about it. Early in the interview, Jenner took out his ponytail to let his long hair flow behind him.

“My brain is more female than it is male,” said Jenner, the 1976 Olympic decathlon champion who has been better known in recent years as part of television’s omnipresent Kardashian family.

Jenner said he hopes that speaking publicly about the gender issues would do some good in the world and vigorously denied that the interview was some sort of publicity stunt to promote the Kardashian reality TV show.

Jenner said he self-identifies as “her,” not a specific name. But he told Sawyer he felt comfortable using the pronouns “he” and “him,” a designation that is an important issue for many in the transgender community.As a young boy, Jenner felt an urge to try on his mother’s and sister’s dresses.

“I didn’t know why I was doing it,” he said. “It just made me feel good.”

Jenner said he told his first two wives about the gender confusion, and it was a factor in the breakup of his second marriage. During the 1980s, he began taking hormones, had surgery to make his nose smaller and was having hair removed from his face and chest.

Jenner said he has never been sexually attracted to men, and he wanted to make clear to viewers that gender identity and sexuality were separate things.

“I am not gay,” Jenner said. “I am, as far as I know, heterosexual. I’ve always been with a woman, raising kids.”

Jenner said he’s gone back to say he was sorry to people in his life hurt by the gender identity issues.

“I’ve apologized to everybody,” Jenner said. “I’ve apologized my whole life.”

He fought back tears and reached for a tissue before the interview even began. Jenner said it was hard to talk about gender issues because of concerns about disappointing people.

Okay haven’t really wrote anything in awhile and I apologize for that. I have had a busy schedule involving children, vacation, booze and roasting some asshole, that took all my energy away from this wonderful blog. So what have I missed, the sox season has kicked off, Bruins threw up on themselves to get to the first tee, and the Celtics just got a beat down like they were in Baltimore police custody. Other stories have come by my desk and I haven’t really wanted to put anything out there. Until Bruce Jenner finally came out as transgender. Who would have thought this gold medal winning Olympian would be hiding that he is really a woman on the inside. Vegas must have really took a hit on this because in that family there was heavy money on Khloe Kardashian having a bigger dick then Shaq.

Now I know that you all expect me to blast him or her with this isn’t how people should live there lives bullshit. Guess what….Who gives a fuck. If somebody wants to dress like a woman, have at it. Shave your adams apple, cut off your boys and shop at the Christmas tree shop for all I care. Hell if I was married to that pile of makeup and OJ seman they call Kris Kardashian I would wear a pink tutu and tell people I was Winston Churchill to get out of it. The best part of this thing is that Kim Kardashian has come out fully supporting Bruce and his transition. Thank god, I’m sure the whole time he was thinking of going public he was worried if his second rate porn star step daughter had his back (just like Ray J did). The only thing worth less then Kim Kardashians opinion is real estate in Nepal. So Bruce Jenner my advice is live your life the way you want buddy, or honey, whatever.

To help your transition here’s some pick up lines you can try on the ladies

“Anyone wanna scissor fight with an Olympian”

“Why don’t we make like my penis and take off”

“It is true what they say about women with big hands, huge vagina”

“I love your shoes do they come in 16s”

“I used to be on the Wheaties box, how about now I get on your box”

“You want to go back to my place and throw the discus”

“Bill Cosby drugged me too, but just to win Battle of Network stars”

“If you play your cards right you can see the Olympic rings I shaved in my back hair”

“Don’t you just love this black dress, I got it from Blaze from American Gladiators”

“Hey dick or no dick who doesn’t want to fuck me with this hair”

“You know what, why don’t you follow me home to be safe”

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About Pistoffirishman

I'm a married father of two boys, I also have a long term civil union with alcohol and anger. Some people say one causes the other but I don't give a shit. In between work, marriage and binges I try to get a rise out of people. Why? You ask. Because I'm bored, Nightcourt isn't on nick at night anymore, and my wife hid my god damn whiskey. So what of it!!! Follow on twitter at @pistoffirishman

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