If only there was a ‘Kanye-bola Virus’

kanye kid

Kanye West refused to continue his show on Friday night in Sydney, Australia until the entire audience was standing and dancing in physical Yeezus worship. Unfortunately for Kanye’s self-esteem, one of the audience members had a prosthetic leg and another used a wheelchair.

One concertgoer told the Daily Mail that he addressed the crowd saying “I can’t do this show until everybody stand up. Unless you got a handicap pass and you get special parking and s**t.” The fan waved her leg in the air and Kanye so kindly continued the show, stopping again when he saw there remained a single seated fan.

According to the tabloid, he then halted performance of “Good Life,” saying “‘This is the longest I’ve had to wait to do a song, it’s unbelievable,” before sending over a bodyguard to check that the fan was differently abled.

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I probably should have let our resident anger blogger @pistoffirishman take this one, but my fingers were already typing.

Question: Is there a worse human being in the world that Kanye West?  This egotistical, arrogant narcissistic scumbag has once again hit a new low (I thought marrying that fat-ass a would be the bench mark, but bravo Mr. West, you managed to top yourself).

What really needs to happen to Mr. Stronger is he needs to contract a disease from the Ironic Torture Chamber?

What would be ideally suited for this talent-less dipshit?

If you could invent the Kanye-bola, what would it include in it’s symptoms?

My thoughts would be…

A.  Instant muting.

The very first symptom would be the losing of the tongue.  Not only would you lose ability to speak, but your tongue would literally fall out; painfully and slowly fall out with the taste of Bruce Jenner’s 1976 Olympic jock strap filling every taste bud as it happened over several long months.

B.  “Carltonism”:

We all know Kanye perceives himself as quite the dancer, well, upon contracting Kanye-bola, the victim could only dance like the goofy Alfonso Ribeiro character, Carlton, from ‘The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’.  It would like an uncontrollable tick that happened only when cameras were on you.

C.  Ass-Displacement: 

Immediate retention of Kim K’s gi-normous backside would come next.  This odd symptom would eliminate equilibrium causing the victim to constantly fall backwards with every step they took.

D.  Genital Pins and Needles:

And just when you think it could not get worse, the 4th and most painful symptom of Kanye-bola hits you; a constant, sharp, dagger-like pain inflicted upon the genital area.  Picture a human pin cushion with a thousand needles that never stop poking away at your “Gold Digger“.  Ouchie.

E.  Bankruptcy

Sure, it doesn’t seem to fall in line with a medical disorder, but so what, I am calling the shots here.  Immediate, total, and irreversible poverty strikes the victim, so don’t think you can hire an entourage to help you manage the K-bola.   Uh uh.  You will be shacked up under a bridge playing ‘Keeping Up with the Smelly Homeless Guy’.

More bad news, Kan, you, and only you, are the only living organism capable of contracting Kanye-bola on earth.  Bummer, huh?

There is, however, a silver lining, K-Man (adding more fuel to the irony of this unique affliction) you get to live for 1,000 years!  Yep, longevity is final symptom.  What are the odds?

Have a ‘Good Life’!

Maybe you can pray to Yeezus for help?

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This entry was posted in Anger, Can I Be Frank, Frank McCabe, Uncategorized and tagged , on by .

About Frank McCabe

Frank McCabe is an avid relaxer and Chinese food (i.e. Mai Tai) connoisseur. When he is not tending to his 'real' job, his wife and three children, Frank escapes reality by writing and inventing anything "funny" that pops in his head. With a Bachelors degree in Silliness, Frank subscribes to the theory that life is short...and, well, that kinda sucks, doesn't it? In his downtime Frank enjoys skinny skiing and going to bullfights on acid. @fhmccabe

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