Vasalgel, a reversible form of male birth control, just took one step closer to your vas deferens.
According to a press release from the Parsemus Foundation, a not-for profit organization focused on developing low-cost medical approaches, Vasalgel is proving effective in a baboon study. Three lucky male baboons were injected with Vasalgel and given unrestricted sexual access to 10 to 15 female baboons each. Despite the fact that they have been monkeying around for six months now, no female baboons have been impregnated. With the success of this animal study and new funding from the David and Lucile Packard Foundation, the Parsemus Foundation is planning to start human trials for Vasalgel next year. According to their FAQ page, they hope to see it on the market by 2017 for, in their words, less than the cost of a flat-screen television.
Since the invention of casual sex, we’ve just accepted that a 95% success rate for male birth control was industry standard, whether you’re a condom guy or you own cargo shorts and Teva’s and wear them at the same time. But because this is America, and Americans do amazing American things, starting in 2017, the only thing that will stand between a dude and the optimal bareback sesh is a little white lie. “No worries, I’m on Vasalgel.” And for most of the fellas out there (not named Tobes), it’s usually a patchwork quilt of untruths just to get to a point in the evening where a nice young lady is asking; “Did you take your Vasalgel today?” At that point, it’s just about keeping the momentum.
Look, it’s pretty much accepted in all corners of society that the only way for male birth control to be loophole free is for it to be worn and as visible as a crossing guard’s vest. But that’s not to say that this Vasalgel is without any sort of practicality. There’s the tired middle aged dad out there that has three sons and an ambitious wife that has nobody to give their American Doll Collection to…Vasalgel! Don’t have the ball’s to get snipped? (pun intended)…Vasalgel. You’re Anotonio Cromartie?…Vasalgel.