Worst Chain Necklace Ever

Bronx, NY Man Commits Suicide by Pulling His Own Head Off

Yesterday, bystanders in the Bronx watched in horror as a man commit suicide by self-decapitation.

The New York Daily News described Tomas Rivera’s death thusly: “[Rivera] tied a chain from his head to a pole, then hit the gas on his 2005 Honda CRV in Hunts Point.”

His head was ripped off, according to police, and “was left on the street by the pole.”

You can say a lot of things about this man, Tomas Rivera, but you can’t call him a quitter. If I saw this guy pull that crap it would be awful and I wouldn’t be able to help myself from the nonsense that came out of my mouth, such as..

“Yo that guy is completely off the chain!”

“Well at least he didn’t go through the windshield.”

“Please turn the salsa music down I’m getting a head ache”

“That better not be my mountain bike chain.”

“Who said the CRV had no pickup?”

“Oh my god he isn’t wearing a seatbelt.”

“Does anyone know any  of his 12 kids? Is he bleeding?”

“Oh ya he is bleeding.”

“I feel the same way when the Pats don’t cover.”

Even worse picture being this guys family calling relatives about the death “Just wanted to let you know Tomas has passed away.  Ya it was a bit sudden, but he went peacefully by pulling his head off”.

The real question here is what made this guy so mad that he killed himself in such a “screw all you guys” kinda way? I got a couple ideas of what pushed him over the edge.

Maybe he got stuck watching Bachelor Pad in Paradise and got depressed when that one-handed broad couldn’t clap?

Maybe his wife told him any where was a good place for dinner but shot down all 17 of his suggestions?

Maybe he just recently found out that Sam and Diane broke up or maybe he couldn’t beat King Hippo in Mike Tyson’s Punchout?

Whatever it was he completely over reacted. If he had to do it all over again I’m sure he probably wouldn’t have filled the tank up. 

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