Finally, somebody told Sting to fuckoff and we’ve got some fresh blood in the A Very Special Christmas franchise. It’s no Santa Baby, but something about the passion and smartly crafted lyrics makes this the holiday jam of the year. Sure, there’s no mention of anything remotely connected to Christmas, snow, or Baby Jesus, but I believe the “Can I get get in your heart today” line rings true to all of us who have ever endured a lonely Christmas.
Ya gotta click through to watch the video…it’s worth it.
WOBURN, Mass. (MyFoxBoston.com) — A secret taxpayer funded “mancave” used by government contractors has been uncovered in Woburn.
FOX 25 obtained an audit performed by the US Inspector General’s office that found gym equipment, sleeping bags and a bike repair tool kit inside a warehouse at a Woburn office park rented out by the EnvironmentalProtection Agency.
The EPA says the warehouse in Woburn is used to store equipment needed for emergency response in the area. Instead, it was being used as a mancave by contractors hired by the federal government..
“Every guy wants to have a mancave, but they get one paid for by the taxpayers of the federal government,” said Greg Sullivan, research director at the Pioneer Institute and former state Inspector General. “And that’s really unfortunate.
At the Woburn location, “they actually saw a climbing wall,” said Kevin Christensen, who is with the EPA office of the Inspector General.
The audit was done between April 2013 and August 2014. The EPA leased the 4,500 Sq. foot at a cost of $71,000 per year. Contractors paid more than half a million dollars to manage it.
The inspector general found contractors were “having personal packages received at the epa warehouse, storing and potentially using exercise equipment and bicycle repair equipment, and storing personal sleeping bags in vacant spaces,” according to the audit.
When asked why the EPA needed this type of storage facility, Sullivan said “well, that’s one of the questions the federal IG’s office is hammering here. Why do we need this much space? They looked at what’s being stored. Not a lot of it is needed, should never have been stored in the first place.”
Hey Fox, thanks for the hard hitting journalism. Maybe for your next piece you can investigate what the fuck an actual MancaveMantown is, because that’s the worst MancaveMantown I’ve ever seen. Looks like a Siberian prison cell. No TV’S, no pool table, no kegerator, no mention of the RedZone channel? Who the fuck wants to hang out there? The whole point of a MancaveMantown is to be a sanctuary filled with fun and comfort…where plumbing and floor joists keep the farts in and the wives out. If I invited my buddy Dunny over to the EPA MancaveMantown on a Sunday, he’d stab me on the spot. (and piss all over that weight bench in his disappointment that it’s not a BowFlex)
So if the EPA is firing folks over this, I have to assume it’s based on someone’s claim that this was intended to be a MancaveMantown, a clear demonstration of ineptitude. Otherwise on paper, this just looks like a workplace that has a nap area, and an employee gym…aka Google (Or any Tech company pre-2006).
PS. I’m not sure who authorized the phase out of “ManTown” in favor of the ambiguous “ManCave,” but we need to switch back as soon as possible. It’s awesome when your wife lets you have a bunch guys in your “ManTown.” ManCave…not so much.
Double PS. Mr. Despicable has never been invited to a ManTown. Probably because he never shuts up about flight school.
h/t to Mahk for the link.
Business in frontParty everywhere. Its a testament to the product quality that Dunk’s is able to land the caliber level of customers it does without a red carpet.
Well everyone its that time of year again when we slow clap all together for the fact that being drunk before 6pm on a Tuesday isn’t frowned upon because of the Christmas Season. This time of year we try to be better people then we are, spread a little Christmas cheer, and try to block out the fact that the low drum beat in Bing Crosbys “White Christmas” is him beating his son with a sock of marbles. Not too many people realize this but I have been a Christmas elf for Santa for the last 17 years. When I got my drivers license at 16, Santa learned he could enjoy his dewars a lot more if he had me driving the sleigh. So I have seen it all over the years, from crying kids, spazzy kids, drunk teenagers, drunk cops on duty, cars filled with gifts being stolen and people egging houses on Christmas eve. To help my mental state this year I’ve decided to vent all my angry rants, pet peeves, and really any other bullshit that I feel like writing down.
– Took the family on a nice Christmas light tour of our fine city of Lowell Mass the other night and here are the grades
- Highlands B+ -Great effort but too many inflatables and blue Hanukkah lights
- Pawtucketville C – Only saw 2 houses in a 20 min drive through South Dracut
- South Lowell B- – Lost points because the hookers had ugly sweaters
- Acre C+ – The guy washing my windshield was dressed as Santa-bonus points
- Belvidere F+ – Spot lights on front door wreaths don’t count you jack wagons
- Centerville Incomplete -Didn’t have bullet proof vests that would fit my kids
– I need my Mall Santa to be like my Christmas cartoons, be 70 years old, make my kids smile, and be a bit racist
-Egg nog with no booze in it is just pancake batter
-No more ugly Christmas sweater partys please. The new hip party is called Russian Roulette fruitcake party. One fruit cake is made with some nice Northern California Sinsemilla (weed), One fruit cake has magic mushrooms, and one just plain fruit cake. Now that’s a party and may luck be always in your favor.
-How come all my beloved childhood cartoons characters now all remind me of drug addicts. I mean Charlie Brown looks like a meth addict, no hair, can’t kick a football, and thinks his dog is talking to him. Rudolph is blowing coke all night long and no way he passes a DUI checkpoint. The Grinch is all cracked out on pills obviously. Living in a cave, breaking into houses, and has no friends because he a owes them all money.
-If your not leaving out Milk, Cookies, Carrots, and a Budweiser for Santa your doing it wrong
-No kids at Midnight Mass, we are all drunk, we don’t want to be there, and the crying kids aren’t helping
-Every time somebody says Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas an Angel gets raped by Bill Cosby
-You get to open one gift on Christmas Eve. If you pick a gift that is socks and underwear you lose and have to go right to bed
-Die Hard is a Christmas movie and should be shown for 24 straight hours just like “A Christmas Story”
-Any toys that have to be assembled on Christmas Morning you are allowed to start drinking no questions asked, believe me it helps or shit can hit the fan like the Power wheels Barbie Car incident of 09′
-Your a bad parent if you don’t position the Elf on the shelf to shit out a Hershey kiss at least once
-Named my Christmas stocking Robin Williams this year, because its furry and just hanging there
-If you can’t point out the drunk inappropriate guy at your office Christmas party then your the drunk inappropriate guy at said party
-Sorry for any F bombs I threw at my family on Christmas last year but Daddy had Michigan St -6.5 and they missed the Fucking extra point
So Merry Christmas everyone and remember…. if there isn’t a little family drama, too much alcohol, crappy gifts and a fist fight or two then it really isn’t a Christmas to remember
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Remember the 80s movie “Stand By Me”? Remember the famous pie-eating-Lard-ass-Barf-O-Rama scene?
Well, pretty much the same exact thing is happening at the McCabe house his week…minus the delicious pie and good natured Country folk
Oh, almost forgot, today is a Creature Double Feature.
The bathroom scene from “Dumb and Dumber” is also showing….minus hottie Mary Swanson and the Aspen mansion.
Cripes!!!!
Hey Ladies,
Let’s get something straight, “It’s the thought that matters” is an old holiday expression coined by losers that sucked at giving Christmas presents. It’s December 9th already. It’s time to get your heads out of your asses and start getting serious about honoring the men in your life to the fullest. Don’t be a loser.
The bad news is that science has proven that shitty gift giving is a genetic predisposition that will haunt your life forever. Fortunately for you, that doesn’t matter this year because every guy is asking for the same thing: something from The Life of Burt Reynolds collection. No Malls, No crowds. Just go ahead and spread out on your comfy couch with a glass of Riesling and a credit card, and let your imagination guide you. I took the time to hand pick the best of the bunch for your and rated them using the Burt Reynolds Mustache Rating System:
Stache ratings 1 thru 5.
5 Staches being the greatest gift since they invented Jesus to add a little depth to the holiday.
BURT REYNOLDS 1952 PALM BEACH HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL TROPHY
“A football trophy presented to Burt Reynolds in 1952 from Palm Beach High School in Florida. The two-tier trophy features a metal football figure at top with an eagle figure mounted to the wood base. At the center of the trophy is an engraved metal plaque that reads “Buddy Reynolds/ All Southern/ Honorable Mention/ All State/ First Team/ All City/ First Team/ 1952.” Affixed to the base of the trophy is another metal plaque that reads “Palm Beach High School.”
Fantasy Football blows. I’m in four leagues, they all suck. But if you’re telling me Burt Reynold’s 1952 High School trophy could potentially be starring on my mantle, I’m back in. Grab this piece of hardware for your favorite guy and he’ll be at the top everyone’s league invite list next season. (AKA, you get to captain the remote control… and its Bravo marathon’s for the entire month of August.)
Gift Rating: 2 Staches
BURT REYNOLDS MARTINA NAVRATILOVA SIGNED AND INSCRIBED PHOTOGRAPH
“A print of a black and white photograph featuring tennis legend Martina Navratilova. Navratilova has inscribed the photograph “Dear Burt- / this is where the/ action is!/ Martina” in black marker. Framed.”
Martina Navratilova, one of the greatest Tennis players ever and perhaps the first universally accepted gay athlete…telling the Wayne Gretzky of sex symbols that “This is where the action is” is the funniest thing these eyes have ever seen. I am woefully immature, and ignorant. So is the guy you’re trying to buy a gift for.
Gift Rating: 4 Staches
BURT REYNOLDS ROBE Continue reading “A Gift Givers Guide for the Ladies: Life of Burt Reynolds Auction Edition”
Can I Be Frank & Crew? 