Booze as a disability? Is this Bar open?

By: Scott Wolf 

Former head coach Steve Sarkisian has sued USC for $30 million for wrongful termination and failure to help him treat his alcoholism.
Former USC coach Steve Sarkisian filed a lawsuit against the university on Monday saying he was “kicked to the curb” instead of being allowed to seek treatment for alcoholism.

Sarkisian’s lawsuit, filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, blamed athletic director Pat Haden for wrongful termination and seeks $12.6 million, which is the remainder of his contract at USC, plus unspecified punitive damages for “mental anguish.” He also blamed his high-stress job and collapse of his marriage for his alcohol dependency.

The lawsuit claimed Sarkisian “pleaded” with Haden to give him time away from his job to seek treatment, but Haden placed him on indefinite leave on Oct. 11 and fired him by text the next day.


Booze is a disability? How is making everything awesome even midnight Christmas Mass a disability! I’m kidding, of course alcohol is a disability.  If you have to start wearing Velcro sneakers because the booze won’t let you tie your shoes, then its a disability. If you wake up next to a midget in clown makeup, then its a disability. If you start to understand the Asian guy taking your order at Wah Sang at 3am, then its a disability. If you start to think “You know I would do Caitlin Jenner in a pinch” then its a disability.The problem with this story is did Coach inform his boss of his issue?  Nobody is buying that Sarkisian remembers speaking with his bosses about his alcohol issue in the first place. The only thing this guy remembers is that the packy opens at 10am and takes cash only (or cheerleader underwear in certain circumstances).  Yes, the guy has a problem. Any time you wake up face down at a podium… in the middle of a spaghetti dinner…while you were making the speech…you might want to put the Schnapps down.

(Where is this bartender?)

The real problem in this situation was Sarkisian was trying live his college years all over again. Who among us hasn’t done the same thing? Maybe you stop in at a local watering hole on your way home from work.  Proceed to down Fireball shots, play Buck Hunter, talk about how the Swatch watch was your idea and then argue with the wooden Indian statue about who could serve a beer faster Woody or Sam Malone (The correct answer is Woody by the way.  Those corn-fed Midwesterners know how to work.  Just ask Orvil Redenbacher.) then maybe we should talk?

(Christ buddy, its almost 10am, bartender what the fuck)

Drinking on the job is bad mojo. Sure, at lunch, smoke breaks, walking to the bathroom; but while working is just not cool. The big question is did he deserve to lose his job because he was brushing his teeth with Doctor McGuilicuddy?’s  Sadly, yes he did. Unless he went into his boss’ office and said this simple phrase “I have a problem and need help“. He has to admit the problem or there really isn’t anything for USC to do but fire him. Believe me, I know something about addiction. If I buy one more season of Greys Anatomy on DVD my wife is throwing me out on my ass.  I hope Coach gets the help he needs.

(as I sip my Rum and Coke)


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