Now, this is how you Memorial Day

 

 

 

 

 

@LowellSun

Lowell Sun News  – Billerica police say a 54-year-old Billerica woman racked up back-to-back drunken-driving arrests over two days, less than 24 hours apart, driving along the same area of Boston Road in the same car this weekend.

In Lowell District Court on Tuesday, Valerie Feuerstein, of 16 Meadowbank Road, had bail set at $5,000 cash after pleading in two cases to: operating under the influence of alcohol (two counts), marked lanes violation, and operating a motor vehicle with a license suspended for drunken driving.

Billerica police note that Feuerstein has a history of driving violations, mostly for speeding, that date back to 1982.

In court, prosecutor Christopher Minue said that on Saturday Billerica police responded to Boston Road for a report of a suspected drunken driver in a black Chevy Camaro. Policearrested Feuerstein, who refused a Breathalyzer test, and charged her with drunken driving.

She was released from the police station.

At around that at around 8 p.m. on Sunday, a Billerica police officer was driving along Concord Road when he spotted the same black Chevy Camaro being driven erratically. After turning around to stop the Camaro, the officer found the car parked in front of Georgio’s Liquors at 446 Boston Road, according to court documents.

The officer waited for Feuerstein, the driver, to exit the liquor store and get behind the wheel of the Camaro, police say.

The officer followed the Camaro as it turned onto Boston Road watching as half the vehicle was driving in the breakdown lane, police allege. The car was pulled over.

Police noted that Feuerstein, who smelled of alcohol, appeared confused and was unsteady on her feet. She allegedly failed the field sobriety tests. Handcuffed and sitting in the back of the cruiser, Feuerstein continued to try to recite the alphabet, one of the field sobriety tests, police allege.

In court, Feuerstein’s attorney told Judge Thomas Brennan that his client has had a series of issues in her life, including a recent divorce, a broken arm, seizures, and depression because her son went away for the weekend. Feuerstein was sleep-deprived and confused at the time of her arrests, the attorney said.

Minue argued that Feuerstein poses a danger with back-to-back drunken-driving arrests less than 24 hours apart.

In addition to the cash bail, Brennan told Feuerstein that if she posts bail she is prohibited from drinking and cannot drive. She must also submit to random alcohol screens. A pretrial conference is scheduled for July 8.

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Meet 54 year old Valerie Feuerstein.  Well Val, I have to respect your love of the D and D-ing game.  Picked up twice in 24 hours?  That’s some serious work and dedication.

I think I like a lot of things about this boozy broad and her whole wild weekend story in general…

  • Basically, she returns to same scene of crime from hours earlier.  How’s that for a little double barrel middle fingers to the BPD.  Come get me, pigs .  I aint hiding!
  • Black Chevy Camaro (clapping).  How many ways to say you are awesome?  This says it all.  Not sure ANYONE who has EVER owned a Camaro has EVER driven it sober.  Its practically entrapment when you drive off the lot with that bad boy.
  • “Hey that looks like the cops right behind me again?  Shit.  What to do?  What to do?  I got it!  I’ll go see my steady BAE Georgio for a quick 6 of Schlitz and a few nips of Fleischmans.  That will get them off my trail.  Perfect.  Bwahahaha.”
  • How about her excuses for why she needed to get behind the wheel shithammered?  Outstanding.
  • Recent divorce” – yeah join the other 50% of ‘Murica.
  • “Broken Arm” that one didnt even work for Rodney Dangerfield .

  • “Seizures”  Those are callled the DT shakes, Miss When a Man Loves  A Woman
  • Depression from her son (who is likely 40 by my math on the average age of Billerica child-bearers) going away fo the weekend.  You were depressed, Kitty Dukakis, cause Sonny Boy couldn’t cart your drunk ass back and forth to Georgio’s while he sat at MAC’S TWO wishing he could move out of your basement and contemplating suicide by stripper.

So anyway, Val, you made a lot of Veterans proud with this complete lack of regard for your fellow motorists over the long weekend.  Oops, did I say ‘Veterans’?  I meant ‘No One’.

We’ll see if you can top yourself come 4th of July!  Maybe the elusive drunk driving holiday weekend hat trick is achievable?

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This entry was posted in Can I Be Frank, Frank McCabe and tagged , , on by .

About Frank McCabe

Frank McCabe is an avid relaxer and Chinese food (i.e. Mai Tai) connoisseur. When he is not tending to his 'real' job, his wife and three children, Frank escapes reality by writing and inventing anything "funny" that pops in his head. With a Bachelors degree in Silliness, Frank subscribes to the theory that life is short...and, well, that kinda sucks, doesn't it? In his downtime Frank enjoys skinny skiing and going to bullfights on acid. @fhmccabe

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