You didn’t invite your fat buddy to your cheesesteak party? Green Light Fat Rampage.


Lehigh Valley Live

A teenager upset that his friends didn’t invite him over to eat cheesesteaks in Hellertown allegedly dragged one of his buddies down a flight of stairs and kicked the victim in the face, according to court records.

Police say William Joseph Hitchcock-Sahr Jr., 18, of the first block of Kiernan Avenue, called Brandon Ridgick on Monday and found out Ridgick and two others were hanging out in the 100 block of Northampton Street eating cheesesteaks. 

Hitchcock-Sahr showed up and started arguing because he wasn’t invited and Ridgick hadn’t bought him a sandwich, according to court documents.

Wow…with friends like these, who needs enemies.   Call it experience, call it street smarts, call it 3 years of charm school, but  one thing I know is when you invite a kid into your inner circle with the physical build of a bean bag chair, you better make sure he’s on the VIP list if you’re planning weird cheesesteak parties.   It’s a social protocol that you just can’t overlook, as the fallout is most certainly fat rampage.  If you’re talking birthday parties at the water park, shirts and skins pick-up games, hot air balloon rides, or games like paintball where it helps to be able to hide behind stuff…then by all means, keep chubs out of the loop.  Feelings still may be hurt, but most behavioral scientist agree that “The relief of Fat  Anxiety is > fat rage.”

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