And the big winners are… Pedophiles and Lawyers!

van

That’s me on my most recent visit to the Boston Children’s museum sporting my “I could possibly be a Sexual Predator” badge, which is required for any dude that shows up without a kid. (What? Why should you need kids to enjoy the children’s museum?)

After work on Friday, I rolled over to Fort Point Channel to meet up with the fam and was greeted by a wall of suspicion at the front door. After turning over my driver’s license, social security card, urine sample, and no less than 5 character references, I was allowed to proceed…as long as I complied with their request to wear that snazzy badge. And why the badge you ask, since they already have enough personal data to empty my checking account? Because a group of Lawyers felt the best way to absolve the Children’s Museum in the event that a kid gets snatched is to have regular guys like myself walk around the place wearing badges, getting eyeball lasers from mom’s worrying that I’m going to drop a digit on their kid. Brilliant stuff. And I get it, we’re living in a different world, and these are things you have to deal with. Well, fine. Then would it be too much to ask for a smile, and a “thank you for not raping a kid today” when retrieving my ten forms of identification?

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