My Life as an Addict

Confession: I have an addiction that I’ve carried for 20 years.  Like most people I got hooked in High School,  My friends were all doing it and encouraged me to try it, I didn’t want to be the only one not doing it so I gave it a shot.  Let me tell you I loved it, it was exhilarating. Like most addictions I thought I had everything under control and I could handle it. But within a couple of years my addiction had doubled then tripled. It seemed like all my money was being poured into this habit and inevitably I grew to hate it and myself a little bit.  I saw other people drop the addiction and up until 2 weeks ago I never thought I could be one of those people, doomed to live with it until I died. But it’s been 2 weeks free & clear now, and the sun shine is brighter, the air smells cleaner, & food tastes better.  The temptation is always there especially now that it’s easier than ever to get it, but I remain strong.     My name is Handsfactor and I’m a recovering Fantsy Football addict.

This is the first time since 1995 I haven’t played Fantasy and I highly recommend it.  The first time since Clinton was in office,having Monica Hoover his Arkansas Razorback, that the only Football games I’ve cared about are the Pats & whatever wagers I happen to have going.  I no longer care that Chicago’s kicker hit a 52 yard FG, so that gives me an extra bonus point. In fact I don’t even know who the Bears kicker is! A fact that would have been I fathomable to me a couple of years ago.

Besides you know Fantsy Football has jumped the shark when the 50 year old mother of 3 is talking about how she was excited that Jamaal Charles fell to her at the #3 pick.  Much like Facebook if it’s something my wife’s grandmother is doing then it’s probably not cool anymore.  Football Sunday’s are supposed to be wonderful, you eat bad food, day drink on a Sunday afternoon and lie around the house for anywhere from 3 – 10 hours, and it’s perfectly acceptable.  So why taint such a glorious experience by having your mood ruined because Kenny Britt only had 48 yards receiving when you needed him to have 50+?  The only time I want to be upset after watching football on a Sunday is because someone didn’t cover the spread, and then I’m not even that mad because I can just double up my Monday Night bet & win it back  (It’s not like I’m going to lose 2 in a row!)  So now that I’ve kicked my addiction, my life can best be summed up by quoting the noted 20th Century Philosopher, Pipes Slattery, “My only vices are Drinking, Drugs & Black Women!”