There are 271.8 miles between New Hampshire and Utica NY. How do I know this little tidbit of information? Well, I recently rented myself a truck and drove every inch of that. The reason for the ride (and no I’m not a leafer so it wasn’t to see the beautiful country side) is because I recently took a sports director position (shameless plug) in that quaint little New York city. The first week has been anything but mundane, and now you the reader get to re-live it with me.
This glorious adventure started when I arrived at the pickup station only to find the 10 foot truck I had reserved wold not be making the trip with me. Instead I would be navigating a 16 footer. Oh, and I would still be responsible for refilling that 35 gallon tank after each gas guzzling mile. Furthermore, I HAD to throw down an extra $100 for insurance because these new extended dimensions were not covered under a normal insurance plan. Like a dog who was caught going through the trash I put my head down and accepted defeat as I was shown the door.
From here things could only get better right?… Little did I know I had only stepped in a pothole, and still had the rest of the mountain to go before I hit rock bottom.
The move itself wasn’t terrible. Yes,I hit traffic that would have made even a Californian cringe, but seeing how the truck topped out at 60 MPH anyway I wasn’t in a rush. I had left shortly after breakfast, and now the sun was setting when I finally pulled into the parking lot of what is now my new home. The whole scene was actually pretty beautiful and dare I say symbolic? I mean the sun was literally setting on one chapter of my life while the next would begin the following morning.
My Mark Twain moment was abruptly cut short when I went to turn on the apartments lights. That flick of the switch produced… nothing. I then realized that symbolic sunset was actually a count down clock until I would be moving things up in the dark, and beginning my new life as a member of the Amish.
Why was everything shut off you ask? Well it turns out the previous tenant hadn’t paid his bill in 2 months. This may come as a shock, but the power company wasn’t amused, and their gift in return was to place a lock on the box. This meant for the next FOUR DAYS my only source of light would be via candles, lanterns, and the always fashionable headlight. I still don’t have internet, but I’m calling it a success since I was able to cancel my homemade butter making class with brother Abraham.
Unfortunately the story doesn’t end there. Within 48 hours of moving my belongings in I found out my roommate was moving out. Yes, the man who had found the apartment and was going to pay half of the rent was bolting for greener pastures. And now the icing on the cake: the landlord had already found a woman who was ready to take over on the first of November. Thankfully, after kidnapping her eldest son and stealing a family heirloom I was able to hold onto the powerless apartment for the foreseeable future.
They say things happen for a reason. If someone could just show me the reason for this stretch well that would be fantastic.
Can I Be Frank & Crew? 