(If there has ever been a more random blog topic, challenge me)
“Hi, my name is Frank and I love like ‘Journey’“.
Be honest, they rocked it. I would dare to say that they did not have one bad song. Yeah, I said it.
Don’t Stop Believin? Don’t worry, I won’t.
Wheel in the Sky? Where??
Anyway you Want It? I’ll tell you exactly how I want it Steve Perry…right in the…
Open Arms? Bring it in for the real thing, fellas?
Sorry…
But, as great as their music was, they will certainly go down in the Hall of Fame of stupid/lame/fruity video makers.
The other day while at work I broke out some You Tube (I just call it ‘the Tube’) videos and landed on a sweet Journey playlist. Suddenly, along comes their classic pussy tune – ‘Faithfully‘ – which I regretfully love – and I decided to watch the MTV (when there used to actually be a MTV) video of this massacre. I quickly learned something.
Every single second of this video is unintentially funny.
Take a look and I’ll brealk down the hilarity for you….
I’ll wait for you…go ahead….
0:01 – Check the stupid Journey window sticker being held up by the lowest-man-on-the-totem-pole-of-life-ever has to adhere to the tour bus.
0:06 – He actually sticks it on the bus!
0:11 – Their bus has a following of other buses? Come on guys? Cut the shit.
0:18 – “Midnight sun“. Ha ha. So clever.
0:28 – Fog on window wipe off. So deep.
0:37 – Sleeping on bus? I sincerely doubt it with all of that dynamite 80s blow flowing about…
0:41 – Sweet mustache, you sensitive douchebag!
0:54 – Yeah, that car seat should be perfectly safe on that prop jet plane headed for Boise.
1:00 – Why so sad Mullet McMullerson? Maybe because you and your fake girlfriend have same haircut?
1:04 – What time are you wrestling Superfly Snuka, Steve?
1:11 – Still have that Guido caterpillar on your face, dude?
1:18 – “Shit, these jeans are tight”
1:24 – Oh look, a lighter…how inventive! Just take off your shirt, groupie.
1:36 – “Yep, I am a child molester…with half a guitar”
1:48 – “Christ, I am uglier than my molester friend.”
1:53 – “I am only laughing cause they are filming me, dipshit.”
1:58 – “I am just so in to this article in Rolling Stone about VD as we fly over the Rockies”
2:05 – “Why would I ever wear a yellow t-shirt? I am not Charlie Fucking Brown”
2:07 – “Time for me and this badboy to go our ‘Separate Ways’. Are we still filming?”
2:16 – “Anyone else hot?”
2:25 – Gratuitous slow motion footage. Ah, remember the 80s?
2:32 – “Look, I am dancing with the wife I am about to cheat on after the Topeka show!”
2:38 – Sluts with bad haurcuts.
2:49 – Fake wind
2:55-3:20 – Gratuitous bus footage. We get it – you live on a bus.
3:30 – “That’s right girls, no sleeves”
3:36 – “Dude you look so gay!” ” Dude, you do too!”
3:41 – Wow, now a PINK shirt with no sleeves? Jesus H….
4:07 – Hey look its the stupid Journey sticker again!
4:18 – Wow, a shimmering sybol. Again, so damn deep boys.
The End.
P.S. – The ony thing more insulting than their videos was when they made a worldwide search to find the Philipino twin of Steve Perry to be the new front man.
Can I Be Frank & Crew? 