What do we do now until the Masters?

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The Patriots win the Super Bowl which leads to everyone jumping around hugging one another and telling stories how they saw Brady in traffic once on their way to play miniature golf at happy Hampton. While all this is going on around me, I realize this euphoria of the big win will go away in a few days and I will be stuck with “what the hell am I going to do now for 2 months”. Ya I know “go play with your kids” “do some stuff around the house” yada yada yada. I do all that crap I need to do during the week and save up just for Sunday. Now that’s over, yes the Bruins will be on and I can watch the Celtics if somebody tapes my eyelids open, but just not something I can look forward to all week long like football was. So until Golf replaces that giant hole in my stomach next to the 12 miller lights and tuna sandwich, here are some suggestions that will help me and you get to April.

-Have a Dead Hooker hunt in Warren Sapps backyard
-Camp out near a nice icy spot downtown, and wait for it, its funny every time
-Watch Tiger Woods while he watches skiing
-Have Reggie Bush hold your drink while you go to the bathroom
-Go to Market Basket before a snow storm and try not to kill someone with a skippy jar
-See if you can hold your breath longer then Whitney Houstons Daughter (bet you can’t)
-Make a giant snow penis, also funny every time
-Break into some cars in North Andover
-House of cards,Breaking Bad,Game of Thrones,Walking Dead, just Netflix it
-Pillow case and a staircase
-Drinking and the board game CLUE, shit takes forever when your drunk
-Go to Target and not buy anything (almost impossible)
-Guess the number of kids Gronk and Edleman will have in 9 months
-Say FEB-RU-ARY correctly in a sentence with LI-BRARY

Well these things should at least get you to March Madness and after that its just about clear sailing to the Masters and golf season. Oh ya, you can also try bonding with family members, charity work, church, help your fellow man, you know all that bullshit

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About Pistoffirishman

I'm a married father of two boys, I also have a long term civil union with alcohol and anger. Some people say one causes the other but I don't give a shit. In between work, marriage and binges I try to get a rise out of people. Why? You ask. Because I'm bored, Nightcourt isn't on nick at night anymore, and my wife hid my god damn whiskey. So what of it!!! Follow on twitter at @pistoffirishman

One thought on “What do we do now until the Masters?

  1. dotkel1@aol.com

    Joe said you can always watch Nascar ! How’s the snowblower?

    Sent from my HTC One™ X, an AT&T 4G LTE smartphone

    Like

    Reply

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