2019 Cities: Who are those guys?

Famously quoted in cinematic classic, “Butch Cassidy & the Sundance Kid“, “Who are those guys?

That is my sentiment toward the field of incredible amateur golfers at the 2019 Lowell City Golf Tournament.

Before I go further, you know how great the Cities are as I noted a few years back

As this nearly 100 year old tradition comes to its conclusion today, I realize I have no clue – zero – who 90% of these guys are?  Why is that?  They are kids!  Children!  It seems like only yesterday when the youngsters of this 3-day party had names like Pare, Dowd, and McGuirk (hey Chris!)

I looked at the leaderboard today and I personally know like 5 guys in the entire field.  What happened?  When did I get so old and, worse off, when did my contemporary golf buddies get so damn old that they cant even make it any more.  “You bums’ cried the 18 handicap!”

And kudos to the REALLY old guard including players like Parigian, Harrison, and Stone for continuing to fight the fight.  I salute you, but these young guns are gonna prevail.  Time and tide.  Death and taxes.  Cant’ beat the clock.  Those are the facts.

Well, while I can’t go back in time, I can recreate as it as best possible.  As I noted in a tweet I posted yesterday, “in my day” I made the most of the Cities as did my juvenile delinquent friends.

I’m 44 years old damnit, but, as Thornton Mellon so eloquently stated in Back to SchoolI will not go gentle in to that good night!

I will rage!  Rage against the dying of the light.  I will restage the City Tournament I once knew.  The 90’s man!  It was Hammer Time!  I’m grabbing a case of warm Bud Heavies, sliding them in the bushes by “Old’ Jack Hassett’s house and rage! I’m slapping on some jhorts (jean shorts), popping the collar on that size medium Polo and getting at it.  Mothers, lock up your daughters!  Frank circa 92′ is coming in hot to Mount Pleasant today for some final round revelry.  Look out!

What’s that, honey?  Oh, the need to look at tile at Loews today and cut the lawn.  That’s right.

Well, it was fun to dream for minute.

Good luck to all today – even you young punks!

Only in Lowell: The Cities



The City of Lowell Golf Tournament celebrates it’s 90th anniversary this year. “The Cities” as it is more commonly known started in 1923 and is the oldest known local amateur golf tournament of its kind in the country. Members from Mount Pleasant Golf Club, Long Meadow Golf Club, Nabnasset Lake Country Club and Vesper Country Club qualify at their home courses to play in this unique 54-hole medal play event. Each club fields a team of 12 with three alternates. Both individual and team titles are up for grabs. This year’s tournament will begin at Vesper Country Club on Wednesday, June 24. The second round will be at Mt. Pleasant Golf Club on Friday, June 26 and the final round will be played on Saturday, June 27 at Long Meadow Golf Club.


To quote CBS golf analyst, Jim Nance, ‘A tradition like no other... ‘  Of course, Nance is referencing the famed Masters  not the nearly 100 year old Lowell City tournament.  But for my money (which is about $2.75/beer), The Cities is far more entertaining.  Local golfers play in three competitive rounds  in June each year from 4 local clubs.  And while these players are considered “amateurs” The Cities has spawned the golf lives of many players that went on to professional careers.  In my opinion, this is one of the greatest traditions in this city and it continues to thrive almost a century later.

OK, that is the history lesson of the Cities, now lets talk about what’s really happening here.

The Cities – for all those NOT playing – is a 3 day party.

The Cities is an excuse to leave work at lunch time.

The Cities is a place where Lowellians go who have never played or watched (or can even spell the word) ‘golf’.

The Cities is a reason to walk at a snail’s pace around a golf course, Irish whispering  to the guy you sat next to in 9th grade home room while pounding Bud Lights for no reason other than it is 1PM on Wednesday.

The Cities’ crowd is like an scene out of Happy Gilmore, minus Bob Barker

The Cities is the unofficial Lowell High School reunion for every graduating class since 1960.

The Cities is a right of passage for high school kids to sneak a few warm Miller High Life’s they stashed in the woods and responsible adults simply turn a blind eye.

The word ‘kid’ is used more times during The Cities than any other time in history. Ever.

The Cities rule…KID!

My wife is non-Lowellian so naturally had no clue to The Cities experience until she was blessed with meeting me.  “Yeah, Aim, we are heading over to this golf tournament….at Mt Pleasant…on a Friday….to WATCH.”  What tha?  “No, its really fun, trust me.”  Think of how insane that must sound to someone who has never been before?  Next thing you know I am stuffing beers in her purse and we are following around some 20 year old from Pelham whom I have never met in my life, in 90 degree heat, just because he shot a 69 at Long Meadow.  It it effin crazy if you step back.

I may sound like an insane high school hero here but The Cities is an institution and whether you like golf or not, this event is a desperate but legit argument to stand outside, whack cocktails and pretend you have even a vague interest in golf.

Who’s in?

See ya tomorrow, kid.