Sports – Page 4 – Can I Be Frank & Crew?

Women Can Throw Haymakers Too!

What do you get when you mix scantily clad women and bad blood? Well it goes a little something like this…. (You might want to turn off the sound if you’re at work)

http://youtu.be/Ymcs2dALlCc

Apparently this whole ugly mess started when players of the Jacksonville Breeze exchanged some less than friendly words with the Atlanta Steam. Take a look as even the coaches weren’t spared! Yes that’s Atlanta’s Coach Dane Robinson taking a mighty blow from Linebacker Adrian Purnell (pictured below). I know this is the LFL but if you’re crazy enough to be a linebacker in a league where the uniform is self described as lingerie that’s not a person I want to mess with.

Oh and on a side note Atlanta won 20-12 and now will face the Chicago Bliss in the championship game.

Austin Fontanella, Sports

Why I want Johnny Manziel To Fail

If the Fantasy Football name contests don’t give it away a quick look at the calendar will; football season is right around the corner. The 2014 NFL draft is now more than 3 months behind us, but the league’s 22^nd pick is still making headlines (and not exactly for the right reasons).

I’m talking of course about Johnny Manziel or what is Alex, “The one person who’s living out most men’s fantasies”. The 21 year old not only partied his way through college, but did so to the tune of a 2012 Heisman Trophy and a first round pick in the NFL draft. The guy is so popular that you could probably get lucky with the right woman if you just mentioned he picked on you in high school.

Now that we agree I would gladly switch places with him let’s dive into the meat of this; why I want Johnny Manziel to fail (at least to start). When Johnny Football (which is already trademarked by the way) came out and talked about his battle with the playbook it became pretty clear this first round pick wasn’t exactly a stickler for the classroom.

Quick question; how is that an acceptable answer? You just penned an eight million dollar contract, and walked away with an extra four million dollars for correctly spelling your name! When your job is to be a passible NFL quarterback how do you not pick up the playbook on a daily basis? Tack on the fact Cleveland hasn’t been to the Super Bowl since 1965 and it’s almost a crime!

Everything we have seen thus far indicates Manziel expects to go through his NFL career just like his college one; skating by on his sheer athletic talent. In the world of instant information it wouldn’t take the 21 year old very long to realize that is a dangerous gamble. Just ask Ryan Leaf: one moment you’re an NFL quarterback, and the next you’re reduced to stealing prescription drugs from a high school prep student.

Young Johnny Manziel hasn’t known failure in his entire life, and that’s a problem. If you haven’t been knocked down a few times what motivation do you have to get better? If you want evidence of this simply look at your most recent Super Bowl winner. Russell Wilson was an undersized third round pick who people thought would at best occupy a backup spot.

It’s now Maziel’s turn to break out of that stranglehold. Whether the Texas A&M alumni realizes it or not, the Cleveland Browns just did him a huge favor by making him their backup. Johnny Football is finally experiencing failure for the first time, and what he does next will likely determine his NFL career. Now he can either go take his ball and go home (to what is likely a gorgeous woman so he has that going for him) or ditch his stupid touchdown dance and take his job seriously.

If you’re a Cleveland fan you hope this is the first step to a path of maturity. But then you remember God hates Cleveland, and that trend setting touchdown dances aren’t easy to come up with on the fly.

MANZIEL-MONEY — With moves like that how could Michael Jackson not be proud!

Austin Fontanella, Sports

Taking a closer look at the, “Decision Part II”

(Cue lights, camera, music and …)

Welcome back to the, Family Feud. If you’re just joining us you’ve missed a good one as the 2010 NBA fans take on your 2014 NBA fan base. To remind our listeners, who probably just switched over from, The Bachelor, our question is; why isn’t the sports world outraged with the LeBron James, “Decision Part II”? 2010 you won the coin toss so you get three chances to guess the right answer.

2010: “Well Steve we are going to go with he didn’t catch his teammates by surprise and leave them in shambles.”

Interesting choice, show me, “Didn’t catch them by surprise!”

Oh I’m sorry. The judges think he caught his entire team off guard, and the facts seem to support the case. We start with the point the Miami Heat traded two picks and cash considerations for point guard Shabazz Napier. The UConn graduate impressed the nation with his NCAA title run, but until LeBron James began campaigning for him on twitter he never seemed like an ideal candidate for Miami.

— LeBron James (@KingJames) April 8, 2014

Pick the scouting site of your choice because they all said the same thing; Napier is a point guard who can put the ball in the basket, but is physically a step behind, and sometimes has trouble making the right pass. The scoring sounds great, but the Heat didn’t need another offensive weapon. If they wanted a guard they should have focused on a physical guy who could have chased around the likes of Tony Parker and Derrick Rose. Instead they went out and grabbed the exact opposite because their star player wanted him.

I’ll give LeBron James the benefit of the doubt because perhaps at this point he was still leaning towards Miami. Plus the team’s initial pick, PJ Harrison, is facing charges of assault and battery for allegedly punching a rising high school basketball star. Let’s agree to disagree and move onto the next point.

When Dwayne Wade entered the 2014 off season he was looking at a two year 42 million dollar contract. That’s when Wade and Chris Bosh followed in the footsteps of LeBron James and opted out of their then current deals. It looked like Miami was poised to keep their core group together, and still have the money to bring in top level free agents. However, that plan quickly fell apart when James bolted for Cleveland. Chris Bosh was able to get a max deal, but the move cost Dwayne Wade 11 million dollars over the next two years. The 32 year old shooting guard is not strapped for cash, but something tells me he would not have been so generous if he had known how things would play out.

Alright 2010 NBA fan base guess again.

2010: “Well Steve let’s try it’s because he didn’t leave to form a super team”.

Show me, “Super Team.”

Another swing and a miss! It appears the judges are going off the rumors the Kevin Love trade is a matter of when not if. The reported trade has the big man going to Ohio in exchange for two number 1 picks, Andrew Wiggins and Anthony Bennett, and a future protected first rounder.

Don’t get me wrong, I (Kevin) love the trade if I am a Minnesota Timberwolves fan. You’re getting two potential super stars in exchange for a guy who made it clear he wasn’t sticking around. I’m just here to point out James left his team (again) in order to find a situation where he could hand pick an NBA star rather than working through the shortcomings of the current roster.

When LeBron James made his decision I thought we would see him build a contender from within. Instead we got more of the same. King James took one look around before piecing off the team’s assets to bring in the new, “Big Three”. Perhaps I’m being too critical of the two time NBA champion, but if you want to be compared to Michael Jordan I’m going to hold you to a higher standard. I’m not saying he shouldn’t make his team better, but do it the right way by developing the guys you have.

Well team that’s strike two. Let’s hear your final guess.

2010: “Ok Steve we are going to say it’s because he didn’t hold the league hostage and make a show of it.”

Ok… Show me, “hostages”!

(Side note: I am a HUGE Will Smith fan)

Sorry team that’s your third and final strike.

LeBron James’ made it clear he was seeking a max offer back on June 24^th. James then took his sweet time waiting until July 11^th to announce the, “Decision Part II”. During those two weeks the 4 time MVP toured multiple cities, and took a vacation while NBA free agency came to a standstill. It wasn’t as flashy as his TV special back in 2010, but can we at least agree it’s not hard to draw multiple comparisons? The story became national news, James used the feature to simply promote his own brand, and one city rejoiced while another was caught with its pants down.

So why are things different this time around? Could it simply be that NBA fans, and sports fans in general, just like Cleveland better? It’s clear LeBron James has grown both as a person and a player, but I’ not sure he has cleared that final hurdle just yet. Remember he only penned a two year contract in Cleveland so there is a possibility of the, “Decision Part III”. Everyone, including James, has said the move is strictly to cash in on the new TV deal, and I do believe him. However, just a month ago the entire NBA world also thought he was staying in Miami.

Dan Tobin, Sports

Jeanie Buss, doing more for Native American equality in 140 characters than Pocahontas did in a lifetime.

Whoah! Can we all step back and admire the stand that Jeanie Buss is taking here. Not drafting any Redskins to your fantasy team? Wow! There’s not enough reverence and respect available to shower someone who does something so selfless. Sure, she has enough cabbage in her checking account to scratch together a pay check for Kobe, but what the tribes on the reservations really need is someone with a bottomless pit of courage to refuse to let the likes of RGIII, a dude with the pocket presence of rodeo clown, occupy her #1 QB spot. F’n bold. It’s hard to find someone out there that would willfully pass on the opportunity to have Pierre Garcon occupying your only IR spot for all of two weeks. Never mind forgoing the excitement of having the great Roy Helu Jr. staying loose on the sidelines for when Alfred Morris dies in week 4 from trying to tippy toe through stacked boxes on 3rd downs.

I think Jeanie Buss is making it clear to us all that there are more important issues out there that are bigger than fantasy football success. All I can say is that this message has not been lost on me. I hereby resolve to not draft any Redskins on my fantasy team as well, and together, Jeanie and I will sleep better knowing that life on the reservation is better today than it was yesterday.

Dan Tobin, Sports

#SharkWeek is officially underway…

NOLA.com

A shark bit a Lakeview boy swimming with his family in Lake Pontchartrain Friday afternoon. The attack happened off of Southshore Harbor.

Shelly Trentacosta said her family had borrowed a friend’s sailboat and ventured out into the lake. With conditions calm and the water clear, it was a much better day for swimming than sailing, so the boaters decided to anchor up and take a dip.

Everyone was enjoying the cool lake water and having a good time, including Trentacosta’s 7-year-old son, Trent.

“The kids were bunched up together playing, and Trent just started screaming,” Trentacosta said. “We started swimming to him, and I didn’t know what was going on. I grabbed his leg, and there was a lot of blood.”

Oh, your kid went swimming and got eaten? Yeah, no shit. It’s Shark Week, bub. Nobody that finds their limbs useful should be anywhere water. Oceans, Swimming pools, slip’n slides, the Shedd Park Splash Pad… ¡Es Prohibido Nadar! Get out of the water dummy! It’s Lollapalooza for sharks every August, and without fail, there will be at least a dozen stories from dumb founded people that learned the hard way that it’s not a good idea to chum the water with Little Leaguers during Shark Week. Continue reading “#SharkWeek is officially underway…” →

Can I Be Frank, Frank McCabe, Sports

Me and David Feherty

Entering golf’s last major championship of the year, the PGA Championship, I was reminded of a story I am not so proud of.
“I didn’t quit drinking because I was a bad drunk. I quit because I was a spectacular drunk. It got to be like a video game, where you get to the highest level and it’s not even a challenge any more.”
-David Feherty

This quote, and the others you will read here, come from the guy I consider to be a golf, but more so a comedic, genius.
If you do not know who David Feherty is, you should learn. Nevermind, I will just tell you. David Feherty is an Irish-born former professional golfer turned commentator/analyst/talk show host/comedian. He has been described as a combination of Johnny Carson and Oprah Winfrey for his quick wit paired with an ingratiating persona that makes his interviewees at ease at all times. And while he had a magnificent career standing over a golf ball, he was born to stand behind a microphone.
As a guy that grew up watching Sunday afternoon golf with my Dad, David Feherty became a part of our routine at a young age. His captivating Irish brogue coupled with his humor made this sport, synonymous with the words ‘boring’ and ‘too slow’, interesting and funny.
David Feherty was something I wanted to be in many ways.

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

In 2005 I had the unintentional pleasure of meeting David at a conference in West Palm Beach Florida. On behalf of my company I was exhibiting at a trade show event with a colleague of mine and David Feherty was the keynote speaker. As we registered for the conference, I opened the program and discovered this fortunate coincidence.
“Oh man, David Feherty is speaking here,” I squeaked like a 12 year old heading back stage to meet Harry Styles.
My comrade-in-conference was not a golf fan and did not have a bloody clue who David Feherty was and why I was so excited.
“Dude, guy is awesome. Wicked funny and talks about golf,” I retorted like that same 12 year old girl talking about her boyfriend Tommy who sits in the first row of 6th grade.
“Um, ok man. Never heard of him,” he gingerly responded.
“Pffft,” was all ‘Susie Pigtails’ could muster.

“Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff.”

Conference opens but my only focus was catching my man DF speak rather than targeting that next big client. As I stated above, he is truly a stand up comedian so I made sure I was available to attend his speech. When I snuck my way in to the (customer-only) luncheon event I wiggled my way to the back so I could casually catch all of his wit which would surely be wasted on these propeller-headed-tech-geeks attending this conference. And so it went…side splitting jokes….spit up your drink stories…and so on. It was an hour of awesomeness. Totally lived up to my expectations.

“I lost 150 lbs. if you include my wife.”

I darted my way out the door and back to my sad little exhibit booth. I was pumped. My buddy was there waiting….and waiting to make fun of me.
“Well, I hope that was as good as you thought it would be?” he grimaced as he sat bored anticipating the next rush of nerds to come speak to us.
“It was…you should have come with,” I proclaimed.
“Yeah, whatever. (pause) You know, it just hit me,” he said with a light-bulb-over-the-head look about him. “This dude Feherty is a better, cooler, more successful version of you?”
“Huh, what the hell are you talking about,” I growled.
“Yeah, he is. He is a better golfer than you. Funnier than you’ll ever be. He is even more Irish than you. It all makes sense to me now. You want to be this guy”
Hit a nerve like an errant 1 iron.
“Shutup,” I weakly replied.
Maybe I did have a slight man-crush/bro-mance/Elton AND John type thing happening. So what?

“When CBS came to me and asked me to do on-course commentary, I said, ‘You know, I’m only 37, I still have hopes of [playing] a little better.’ So they told me what they were going to pay me, and I said, ‘You want to buy a set of clubs?’ “

Time ticks by. The day ends. We learn that David will be signing autographs and giving some putting lessons to guests of the conference. Color. Me. IN.
Without getting in to it I waited in a short (45 minute) line. Got his autograph (alright fine, and a picture). It was, again, cool.
Shook his hand, gave him my spiel about watching him on Sundays with my Dad yada, yada, yada. He gave me the politest ‘good for you now move along you creep’ smile and head nod. I don’t care. I was content.
Here is where it gets interesting.
Fast forward about 4 hours. We’ll call it 11:00PM. All of our working duties were long over and we decided to grab a (one more) night cap and call it a day. Enter the lobby bar of this plush resort and order a cocktail. As I awaited my drink, I happen to look down the bar and notice (a now famously sober) David Feherty sipping something ‘brown’ with one of his mates.
“Excuse me,” I golf whisper to the barkeep. “Would you mind sending Mr. Feherty down a drink from us and I’ll have whatever he is having.”
Bartender gives me the eye roll but moseys his way down the long bar to offer my offer. He quickly returns back.
“Mr. Feherty says thank you, but he is all set.”
“Oh.” I sadly mumble
“And by the way, he is drinking a double Black Bush (an expensive Irish whiskey)…neat”.
“Yeah, right, that sounds good. I’ll have the same”
My buddy gives me the hairy eyebrow and questions this decision.
“Come on dude, you are gonna start drinking straight whiskey now? We have a long day and…”
I cut him off.
“Dude, will you shut the f&$% up. I’m fine. I’m Irish too. I love this stuff,” said the liar.
Big. Mistake.
After a couple of giant vats of warm whiskey from the homeland I was acting like the spawn of Doc Holliday and Frank Sinatra.
The last thing I recall I was yelling at the bartender something along the lines of “You can never beat up your father no matter what age you are!” (Pretty sure I challenged him to an arm wrestling match as well)
The last thing that actually happened, according to my buddy, Sober McHatesme, was I literally fell off my barstool. Flat.on.my.face.
Apparently I was making a trek toward Feherty to confront him for not accepting my drink. Yeah, that will impress him.
More apparent, my man Feherty had departed the joint an hour earlier.
Yeah.
So…that’s my story.
Shutup.